White Wedding

Finding a good wedding dress is probably the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced in my life. That includes having worked a 6-hour shift on Boxing Day in Yorkdale Mall. That also includes being the only person in a classroom (BEFORE I even became a registered ECE) who knew the Heimlich manoeuver when a child was choking while about a dozen other children were running around like mad.

Yep. It's more frustrating than that.

But I'm going to be honest, here. I'm cheap as fuck. Paying over $500 makes me cringe because that doesn't include alterations, veil, shoes, hair and all that other annoying crap. Sure, there are quite a lot of dresses out there that go for under $500, but NONE of them are a size 0. 

Sure, most ladies complain about not being able to fit into a size 6 when they're really a size 8. Oh no. Not me.

In fact, a couple weeks ago I went to David's Bridal.

"And what are you looking for?" Asked the lady at the counter.

"A dress," I responded, confused with the question, but figuring that it was standard procedure.

"What kind of dress?"

Are you shitting me? What kind of dress? WHAT OTHER KIND OF FUCKING DRESS WOULD I POSSIBLY BE LOOKING FOR?

But then I noticed the sign for Prom dresses. 

Of course. She must've thought I was one of those high school girls looking for a super fancy Prom dress. I couldn't really blame her. Though I'm 24, most people peg me for 19. I always get carded at bars and at the LCBO.

So I explained to her that I was looking for a wedding dress, that I already knew the style I had in mind; she gave me the catalogue and some stickies to mark which ones I liked and told me that a consultant would be with me shortly.

I'd tell the whole story, but it'd take too long and it's just about as frustrating as the other time I went wedding dress shopping. 

My point is that it's irritating as fuck. Everything is too big, everything is too expensive, dresses nowadays are either bead-crazy crumpled up grandma curtains or short dresses that cover about as much as a towel.

I'm seriously considering getting my dress made for me, but Lord knows how much that's going to cost.

Maybe I could just wear a toga.