This year was amazingly significant. I know a lot of people say that when it reaches the end of December because that’s more or less the mantra, along with “This years resolutions are next years resolutions ‘cause I didn’t check off any of those motherfuckers”, but it truly was a significant year.
2010 was also significant in that I graduated with honours from college, had decided to stop debasing myself by chasing after childhood friends who didn’t understand friendship, building a completely different network of friends by going out of my comfort zone, getting back in touch with some old acquaintances and starting my first year in university.
Not to mention the fact that I became an aunt which provided many adventures.
In 2010, I understood that if I really wanted to be who I am -if I really wanted to grow up- I had to respect myself and appreciate my family and the people who truly valued the person I was becoming.
A big part of that was learning to recognize that even though there were people out there who would not appreciate me, who would ignore me, discard and disregard me for my values, beliefs and quirks, there were people out there who would embrace me for all those things- and I found them.
So how could 2011 be even slightly significant in the wake of 2010?
I began to open up. That’s something I had struggled with over the past few years. Though people who were once close to me would beg to differ, the fact of the matter is I hid a lot of myself:
My passion for hockey, my inexplicable tendency to speak in accents and languages without thinking about it, my slight OCD, my reverence of grape drank, my confusion over why people like Twilight or the Beatles…these and many more things began trickling out because I no longer saw any purpose in formatting myself according to the preferences of others.
These and many other things were more or less muted, but after shedding people in 2010, I found more room to be myself once 2011 came around. And as that happened, the people I usually hung out with became people I grew to cherish and value in my life.
I gained some awesome, hilarious, gifted (and occasionally aloof) close friends. Thanks to them, afternoon hangouts turned into all-nighters, complete with random conversations, ridiculous jokes and silly situations.
Leo and his effect on waitresses, shadow foot puppet abilities, Lion King commentary and Swedish IQ puzzle.
Firuz and his shaving mishaps, African-Irish accent, lack of filter and strict adherence to Monopoly rules.
And of course, Mory. My dearest, ridiculous, intelligent Mory who oftentimes reminds me of a cat because he can be uber hyper one moment, only to stretch out on the couch and fall asleep the next. Also, I like to run my fingers through his hair and pet him. We also have meowing competitions and he likes to curl up beside me and nuzzle my face. And, just like with my cats, I give him lots of smooches and hug him lots and tell him how much I love him.
Aside from the cat factor, he has been there for me –even in moments where I wanted to be alone and expected him to run away.
Since I’ve begun to open up, I’ve also allowed a few ugly traits to trickle through. Traits I’m not particularly proud of, but pieces that, all the same, are a part of who I am, because, as much as I would like to be perfect, I am not.
Despite my willingness to forgive, I can be systematically and indescribably bitter. Though I am fairly modest, I have a tendency to use my intellect in a relatively condescending manner. While I am often described as a chill, go with the flow type of person, I am occasionally prone to over-reacting and stressing things that have no business being stressed about. I get distracted by details and usually bite off more than I can chew.
In spite of all these –and I’m sure various other- short comings, there are people in my life who love me and dare to be close to me.
And out of all the people I’ve shown these aspects to, none of them have witnessed any of these with as much force and in such a short amount of time as Mory has. Yet, for some bizarre reason, he’s stuck around.
I can honestly say that without him, 2011 would not hold nearly as much significance as it currently does.
Though I’ve gained so much this year, 2011 was also the year in which I bid farewell to a large portion of my lost youth.
The park at the end of my street was decimated for the sake of the hospital that was being built.
The Blockbuster on the corner became a dollar store.
My treasured Nightmare Before Christmas wallet was stolen.
And my dearest cat Lisa, who was given to me as a graduation present when I was 10, died a couple weeks after my 23rd birthday. Due to heart problems, her body was slowly shutting down. She was my best friend, my baby girl, my confidante. We shared pillows, ice cream, and the dinner table at Thanksgiving and Christmas. She’d lick my nose to show her affection and I would wrap her up in a blanket and cuddle her and she would never protest.
It was hard to see her go, but it was even harder letting her go. A cat who plays tag, fights off the neighbour’s cat (despite not having front claws) and smacks any dog that dares bark in her face is a cat worth mourning.
In short, 2011 was a bit of a painful year, but I have friends who like blanket forts, Disney movies, connectivity via baseball bats, turning off the lights to spy on their neighbours properly, googling things like "gay vagina" and admiring Axel Rose's bangs in "November Rain" -not to mention African tribal dances and spinning.
I also have my loving, brutally honest and misguided/misunderstood family who have helped shaped the weird person I have become.
And thankfully, I finally chose a major with a little help and (thanks to a few discarded habits) I have my health.
Whatever happens in 2012, I’m confident that I’ve been armed with the strength and support to get through it.
I wish you all much love, health and wisdom in the coming New Year :).
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