Countdown

There's a good reason why some Apocalypse didn't happen, despite the fact that a bunch of gringos were all like "Ermagherd, Mayans predict the end of the world!" or putting my people down and being all like, "Ermagherd, Mayans were stupid and didn't really know anything" and all that other gringo bullshit. Seeing as I am part Mayan, I delved into my roots, learned about my people's religion, built a pyramid in my backyard and made a heart sacrifice to the Sun god to ensure that the passing into the New Year (yes, technically speaking, it was New Year's for us) would be easy and fruitful. 

Interestingly enough, as I was making the sacrifice, the God of Corn appeared to me and was like, "Girl, you gettin' married in a matter of weeks."

And I was like, "Yeah I am!"

Then the God of Corn goes, "Don't you know? If an end of the world is coming, there's no way we'd let it happen before your wedding! Not to say that it really is the end of the world, because for our people, it's just the end of a cycle and the start of another one."

"Like New Year's?"

"Hells yes, like New Years!"

"So you mean I ain't gotta make a sacrifice or nothin'?"

"Nah, homes, it's all good. But seeing as you already have a heart in your hands, I'll just take it and bless your home with abundance of food, and call it even."

So that's that.

In other news, I'm kind of running around crazy with the wedding coming up. I still haven't confirmed a wedding bouquet and the violinist is hard to get a hold of, so I'm thinking as a way to improvise, I'm just going to get together a random mish-mash of flowers from the grocery store and put the songs for the wedding march onto an iPod or something and have someone push play. 

I'm not mad about it. I think it adds more personality to the ceremony. After all, things aren't going to go perfectly, I don't expect them to go perfectly and if it means saving some money along the way, I am all for it. 

Worst comes to worst, I'll hum the song while holding a couple hor d'oeuvres. It'll make for a funny story and a fantastic wedding video.