Beetlejuice at Starbucks

Know why Starbucks’ Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino is that beautiful shade of red? No, it’s not because of the strawberry content. Your thanks must go to the ground up cochineal beetles, or so that they better understand you, it’s best to say gracias since these lovely beetles are of South and Central American origin (just like the people who spend their days in the fields plucking anything that ends up in a Starbucks drink).

Vegetarians and vegans (and anyone who isn’t Bear Grylls) are not happy with the fact that they have spent x amount of dollars on a Starbucks drink with beetle juice in it.

So what does the FDA have to say about it? Apparently, they were aware of this long before anyone else and decided, “Hey, as of early 2011, maybe you should mention that you used a beetle in the ingredients.”

But it turns out that Starbucks isn’t the only one guilty of using cochineal beetles. Apparently these beetles have been used for their pigment for a variety of products such as blush, lipstick, candy, shampoo and other fruit juices with a shade of red. In fact, they’ve been used even before the Spanish invaded in the 15^th century. And once they did, they decided, “Well, we’ve already taken their gold and their land. Might as well take the beetles!” And so began their first tour abroad.

In any case, why make such a big deal out of it now? Because vegetarians and vegans alike aren’t happy with the fact that they consumed insects without realizing it since insects are animals and animals are friends, not food?

Bitch please! People accidentally consume spiders in their sleep without realizing it. You gonna stop sleepin’ ‘cause you gwan eat a spider or two? Fug dat shit! And it doesn’t seem like anyone can avoid using or consuming anything that doesn’t have an animal in it, anyway. 

Not to say that I dislike the pursuit of vegetarianism or veganism. In fact I find it rather noble, albeit flawed by the fact that pretty much everything is made from a butchered animal, such as soap, glass, jello, various plastics…the list goes on.

My point here is, why complain about a few crushed beetles in your drink? You’re buying from a multi-million dollar company that overprices their shit to begin with. I can’t see how, out of all things to make a fuss about, it’s some cochineal crimson pigment? But I suppose they want to wash their hands of the dreadful ordeal of having eaten an animal without realizing it.

Here’s to hoping they won’t read the ingredients in their soap.