The Tale of Edward M.

There once was a man named Edward M.
Who had a face on the back of his head.
It spoke in silence
And followed with eyes so focused and alert-
Which was a surprise.

Now,
Edward M. was a well brought up lad:
Polite and kind and did nothing bad.
But the face that he had on the back of his head
Was jealous and just wanted Edward M. dead.

And you might be thinking I'm telling a lie,
That Edward M. was never alive.
But yes,
It's true the man did exist
But see,
There's more...there's a bit of a twist.


Though Edward M. was a very smart man,
Some started to think that he had gone mad.
He said at night when no one was near
The face would whisper and always he'd hear,

"I'll cut you
And gut you
And slice up your heart.
I'll break all your bones
Yes, I'll tear you apart.
You cannot escape me 
For I am your twin.
I'm always behind you
And one day I'll win."


No one believed him
It seemed too far-fetched.
Having two faces was enough of a stretch.
The face, after all, had not made a sound.
Or at least it chose not to
When others were around.


Poor Edward M. didn't know what to do,
So he went to a Doctor (well, more than a few).
He wanted the face to be gone for good,
But all of the Doctors didn't know if they could.

It seemed rather tricky since they shared a brain
And many believed he was going insane.
He dreaded the night
And hated his bed.
Each time he'd lay down,
The face smiled and said...


"I'll cut you
And gut you
And slice up your heart
I'll break all your bones,
Yes, I'll tear you apart.
You cannot escape me
For I am your twin.
I'm always behind you
And one day I'll win."


Finally, Edward M. got out of bed
He needed the whispers to come to an end.


"To hell with the Doctors!
I'm finished! I'm through!
To Hell with me...and to Hell with you!"


He marched through the house
In search of the gun
And found it before the rise of the Sun.
He pointed the weapon behind his own head
And the face had to listen
To poor Edward M.

"I'll cut you
And gut you-
That power is mine.
You can't do a thing but whisper all night.
You cannot escape me, my dear Devil-Twin.
The gun's in my hand...
I doubt you will win."


The face did not care.
It laughed and it hissed:
"Between the eyes, Ed, or you're going to miss!
It's not like you'll do it."


But Edward knew better.
He shot and left nothing but a corpse and a letter.


His final request in the letter he wrote
Asked that the face be removed
And I quote:


"It's dreadful whisperings in my grave
Will drive my immortal soul insane.
Remove him at once
This Devil, this twin."


The face was removed
...but never it's grin.


In fact, some nights close to Edward's grave
Some people swear they can hear a voice say,


"I'll cut you
And gut you
And slice up your heart.
I'll break all your bones,
Yes, I'll tear you apart.
You cannot escape me
For I am your twin.
You may have shot,
But in the end
I DID win."


THE END.